How to recover from binge eating disorder

I’m conscious that last post was here one month ago, but if you follow me on Instagram, you probably know that this last month was so crazy for me. For example, I can’t believe that exactly one week ago I was at school in France and today I’m sitting on the sofa in my home <3

Anyway, today I want to confess for the first time to a disorder I was fighting with for almost 2 years. I managed to recover and today I’m free. I decided to write this post for two reasons. First, few days ago, I’ve talked to my mum for the first time ever about my eating disorder past. Secondly, exactly one year ago, during the Christmas time, I was struggling with it so badly and I want to share my experience with girls who are struggling with it too right now.

(Everybody is different and your story can be different from mine. I’m writing about my experience and I also share my knowledge that I developed while helping many girls who have been struggling with binge eating disorder.)

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THE CAUSE OF THE BINGE EATING DISORDER

My story with binge eating disorder had begun more than two years ago when I was struggling with anorexia. At the beginning I thought that I’m simply not strong enough to stop myself from eating too much. I didn’t understand that one of eating disorders was slowly going into another one. Binges were frequent and more frequent and somewhere in the middle I understood that it’s not normal. I started to read about it and I got to know that I had just met much worse eating disorder than I actually had.

In most cases, restricting calories and not eating enough for a long time causes binges. It’s completely normal, it’s nothing strange. This is how your body works. If you starve yourself, you’ll binge on food.

ONLY ONE SIMPLE TIP

There is only one advice that I can give you if you struggle with BED. If the cause of your binges is the past or present with starving or restricting your body, then this tip is your key to freedom.

You need to start eating AT LEAST 2000 calories per day. Daily. No matter if yesterday you binged. Or even today. Tomorrow you need to eat enough. And the next day and so on…

This advice saved my life. Seriously. This is how I recovered. I understood that I needed to gain weight. I wanted to be healthy. I wanted to live.

DON’T FORGET

Recovery is possible. Probably, right now you think that you’ll never stop binging on food. It’s not true. You will recover. You are a fighter. You can do it. But first, you have to believe it, because you’re your only key to recovery. Only you can decide how your life will look like in one year. Why one year? Because exactly one year ago, I was a big mess. I could binge for few days and then restrict my calories. My last Christmas was happy, but not true. I wasn’t true with my family. I know it wasn’t good. It wasn’t right.

But I managed to do it. I recovered. I’m healthy. Free. Happy. I laugh more. I eat without being guilty. I live.

 

Thank you for reading this. I love you all so much. You’re my biggest inspiration :)

If you ever need help, you can always DM me on Instagram or send me an email :) I’m here for you, I experienced it too and I’m always ready to help!

How to get your period back?

Many girls wrote to me and asked about getting theirs periods back. Period is something really important for every woman and no matter if you like it or not, it’s necessary to have it and it’s the sigh of your health.

I lost my period because of restricting eating and not caring enough for my body and health. I had problems with irregular period for almost 2 years and then it has been gone for 8 months. I finally got it back in August 2015, one week after I became vegetarian. For last few months I was pretty sure that not eating meat and dairy has helped me with my period struggles and maybe somehow it’s true, but I think that there were also other things that were crucial to getting my period back.

So here I come with the tips that in my opinion were the key to getting my period back :) And I think they can be helpful for everybody, but they are meant mainly for girls who come from the past of restricting eating or any eating disorders.

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1. Stop exercising…

You can find this tip anywhere, but probably you don’t know how important it is. When your body is healing and you want your hormones to work well again, you can’t force your body to focus on exercises instead of healing. By exercising I mean any cardio (like bike, swimming) or just any other activity that burns lots of calories and is a big kicking for your body.

2. …but start doing yoga or stretching.

You have no idea how yoga or stretching can calm you down. It’s the best way to overcome anxiety and stress. You can relax and at the same time do something good for your body. But very important: don’t do from your yoga classes a way to burn calories and treat this activity like a joy, not punishment.

3. Don’t overthink and let the stress go.

Thinking all the time about not having a period and stressing out if it comes back, it won’t help you. When you’re stressed your hormones freak out and there is a great mess in your body. By stressing you disturb the work of your hormones. And that’s why I highly recommend yoga and stretching-for me it was the easiest way to stop stressing and starting thinking in a positive way :)

4. Eat enough + more fats

And here is the worst part for every girl who comes from a restrictive eating past. You have to eat enough (AT LEAST 2000 calories!!) and you need to include more fats in your diet. More fats means more fats. And why it’s so important? Because to help hormones work you have to have fat in your body. And a lot of women need even a special percentage of fat in their body to keep it healthy. It may seem scary or hard for you, but believe me it’s really important and necessary. You also have to change the way of thinking about food. Food is fuel and you shouldn’t think if this is too fatty or too caloric. Just eat the food your body craves and enjoy it.

5. Start to love your body and think positive

It comes with time and it’s the hardest thing to achieve, but self love and positive mindset is also the key to getting your period back. You need to understand that the way you look now at your body won’t change in a week or even a month, but slowly you start to have more positive days and then some day you’ll realize that you’re actually there.

If you need help with body positivity and self love check out my IG and other posts on this blog and remember YOU’RE THE KEY TO YOUR HAPPINESS :)

xx

Your body is smarter than you think

So today was one of these days when I ate really a lot without any special reason. Of course, I could tell that my period is simply coming, which is true, but the REAL reason why I ate today more than usually was simple af.

How I said so many times before FOOD IS FUEL. And the answer to all your cravings and days when you eat more than normally is that you need energy. And food is the simplest way for your body to get it. Simpler and quicker than sleep.

The inspiration for writing this post was my example today. I met with my new friend, we ate burgers together (vegan of course) and when I came back home I did my workout. Then I ate half of a small watermelon and I thought it was all. But then I felt this. My body needed more energy. So I ate raw bar. And I was waiting, but I was still hungry. So I ate one banana with dried dates and coconut sugar. It still wasn’t enough. Then few squares of dark chocolate. Nothing. So I told myself “that’s enough”. And I did myself my favourite “eggless spread”, I ate it with two pieces of bread and I tell you one thing, it was delicious. Now I feel great. My stomach is still flat, but happy. And it’s not rumbling. What’s even better, I know that now I’ve got the energy to do my tomorrow’s workout and feel my best.

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Trust your body and when you feel that you’re hungry, eat. This is that simple. Your body is much smarter than you think and when it needs food, it means you need more energy.

I also want to mention here about all this drama if it goes about late eating. All these people who say that you can’t eat after 18.00 or you’ll gain weight are so stupid. Like seriously, when you’re hungry, you should eat. Because this is what kids do-when they’re hungry, they eat, when full, then they stop eating. Life is simpler than you think.

The situation is different if you’re recovering from an eating disorder, because it all works in other way and sometimes you need to eat when you’re hungry or stop eating even when your brain says something else. It’s all complicated, but I think that people with eating disorders will understand me :)

Anyway, I just want to tell you how important listening to your body is. Trust it and stay calm. Life is simple. Now breathe and if you feel hungry, go and eat something delicious :)

xx

Eat enough

So, today I want to share with you my story from the day before yesterday. I was quite active that day, but I didn’t eat enough through day. I tried to make up for it in the evening and eat a little bit more than usual, but yesterday I realized it wasn’t enough at all.

I was weak, lifeless and I’ve got no energy at all to do anything. I was hungry almost all day long, but I was at work and I hadn’t got so much food with me, so I went back home angry, tired af and hungry. I ate big dinner, dried dates after it and chocolate. And then two bananas with coconut sugar. Did I feel like I overate? Not at all. Normally, I would feel awful after this amount of food and I would have a huge “food baby”. But yesterday my body just needed the energy. Energy from food. And that’s important, because for those of you who forgot-CALORIES=ENERGY.

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And here is that moment when my story ends, but I’ve still got something important to tell you. The food you eat today is the energy you will use tomorrow. When you starve your body, you simply have no energy to live. And sooner or later, you will binge, because your body needs energy to keep you alive.

Some time ago, I wasn’t aware of it and I was treating my body in a terrible way. Honestly, I’m not shocked at all that it didn’t want to work for me and help me no more and I lost my period (aka the sign of health if it goes about woman’s body).

And this is also a problem of all these weight loss diets- you starve yourself, you have no energy to workout and then you get angry because you think you’re weak, lazy etc. And you start to hate yourself for not being “strong enough”. And this is how works that circle. For me it’s scary, because I also was there. Stuck in that circle of self hate and getting angry at myself. So stupid when I look at it now, but then it all seemed to be logical.

The moral from this story: EAT ENOUGH. FOOD IS FUEL. CALORIES ARE ENERGY. Your soul needs home to live so treat your body well :)

xx

Why I stopped weighing myself?

In previous post I mentioned that I stopped weighing myself few months ago and today I want to tell you something more about it. It can seem strange for some people, but I think that my post can help some of you who try to recover or heal your mental health after an eating disorder.

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MY POINT OF VIEW

At the beginning I want to say that in my opinion weighing myself if you’re healthy (I mean not under- or overweight) is pointless. When you aware of your body, you also know looking in the mirror if you put on weight or lose it. Weighing yourself takes time, joy and peace from your life. At some point the scale starts to tell you if you’re too small, too big, good, bad, smart or sexy. And it’s so crazy, because any number can make you some of this. Your soul is important, your attitude to this world and how you treat others. Body is just a home. A place to live. And numbers suck, believe me.

MY STORY

So I stopped weighing myself at the beginning of 2016 after two years of weighing myself almost every single day. Everything has begun few years ago when I was overweight and I started losing weight. I wanted to know each day how much I weigh to know if I can eat more, less etc. That was so stupid and now I can see in how crazy way I was treating my body, but then I thought it was okay and I had that “control” over myself.

When few months ago I decided to recover and I went vegan (I mean my mom finally agreed with me), I knew that I probably will gain weight because the weight I had before was something fake. In fact any number of kilograms you weigh while restricting yourself is not real and it’s not your healthy weight. So coming back to subject, I was aware of future weight gain and I decided to stop weighing myself to not panic and feel insecure of my new weight and look.

At the beginning it was really hard, because when you do something daily, it’s hard to stop it in one day. Fortunately, after few days I stopped weighing myself and I haven’t done it for last few months (probably half of year right now).

How I feel with it? Honestly, amazing :) I can estimate my current weight because I’m aware of my body and I remember how I looked before my big weight loss. I also know that I’m healthy (not under- or overweight), my mind is finally fixed and I love my new body. Of course, I’ve got worse and better days but summing it up, I’m really happy with how I look, feel and who I am right not.

xx

Weight gain

This is the post I wanted to write a long time ago but it was hard for me to actually started it. I just would like to tell you about it in the best possible way, because it’s a really important message for everyone, no matter if you’re healthy, have an eating disorder or you are in recovery.

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MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE

So you probably can’t be aware of it, if you don’t know me in real life, but for last few months I’ve gained some weight. I’m saying “some” because generally I don’t know how many kilograms exactly. I’ve stopped weighing myself at the beginning of 2016, but this is the story for another post.

I’ve gained that weight because I needed to and I know that there was no other way for me to fully recover and fix my metabolic damage after restricting myself. There are days when I feel better and worse about it, but for sure I can’t say that I’m not aware of necessity of that situation.

To be honest, I was a little bit scared to tell you about it, because I didn’t want you to think that vegan diet made it to me. Because it didn’t. The cause of my weight gain is metabolic damage and the fact that after starting eating normally, I had to put on weight.

So if you think about going vegan, don’t be scared of gaining weight. If you’re healthy (you didn’t have or you don’t have any eating disorder), you won’t gain weight on vegan diet because in fact it’s much healthier than diets based on meat and animal products.

Anyway, I’ve gained some weight and now I want to tell you how I managed to deal with it and understand that weight is not the most important thing in life.

“SKINNY” DOESN’T MEAN “HEALTHY”

We live in a society that tells us that weight gain is something bad and losing it is the thing you should probably want to do. And honestly, I hate it. I’m so angry when people praise others for losing weight and at the same time they ignore the fact that someone else is for example not able to do it. I’m not saying that praising others for losing weight is completely bad, I understand that it costs a lot (I lost 13 kgs in the past so I know what I’m talking about), but I’m just angry when I see that all about people care is weight, appearance and the number on scale.

When someone is skinny, it doesn’t mean he’s healthy. And vice versa, when someone is overweight it doesn’t mean he’s unhealthy (but in most cases he probably is). What I want  to say is that we shouldn’t be so concerned about numbers, our weight and comparing ourselves to others. Our bodies are unique. We are all unique and we all look different. And believe me that how you look doesn’t say anything about you. And if some people judge you basing on your appearance then it means they’re not worth your attention.

What matters in life is your soul. Being kind, open, tolerant, positive and spreading love everywhere. Your body is just a home for your soul. Care for it, but remember that at the end of the day what matters is how you were treating others, yourself and what impact you made on this planet.

HOW TO DEAL WITH WEIGHT GAIN

And the last thing I want to tell you about is just how to accept the fact that you’ve gained weight. First of all, you have to throw away the scale. Believe me, numbers won’t save your life and it’s pointless to spend it on checking how much you weigh.

Then you need to understand that your body has changed and your old clothes won’t probably fit you now. But it’s not the end of the world. You are still alive, you can buy new clothes and look better in them.

Another very important tip is just to stop comparing yourself to others. You are unique. Your body is unique and what is crucial is to love it and accept it. Understand that you need to be healthy to live your life to the fullest. Fall in love with yourself, with your new body and show people around that you love it the way it is :)

xx

Rest day

Being fit and healthy is important and it feels great to be an active person. But there is a thin boundary between health and obsession.

Most people workout daily and they like it but I think we often forget that our organisms also need to rest. We can’t force our bodies to workout daily because they simple are not able to do this in long term. At the beginning you probably will feel amazing, but then, very fast, your body will shout and please you to stop torment it.

Sometimes, when you really like your workout routine, when you love moving your body and sport in general, it can be hard to have a day off and just chill. I also have this problem sometimes but when I feel this willingness to do my workout when I’m supposed to have a rest day, I ignore these thoughts and just do something else. Remember, even when during your fixed day off you want to move, you should not follow your thoughts and focus on something else. Believe me, your body really needs to relax, even if your mind says some different things.

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Rest day is an amazing opportunity to do more :) You can do something for your body, but also spend time on little stupid things like watching your favourite series or hang out with your friends. I always find days off like perfect occasions to focus on studying and school works ’cause on my “workout days” I usually have less time for school :D

I hope this post helped those of you who feel guilty or uncomfortable during your days off. Just do not forget that you’re only human and your body needs some breaks to do more in general. Calm down and stay positive :)

xxx