I need to say that I decided to write this post in one small second. I don’t know even how it will look like at the end, but I feel this need and willingness to share with you my current feelings and emotions.
How you probably know, or not, at the end of August I came to France for almost 4 months for a school exchange. I made this decision before choosing a high school, because I knew about this possibility and I always wanted to improve my french level by an experience like this. But in fact, I had completely no idea how an exchange looks like in real life and how many so different boundaries I will meet on my way.
Before this exchange I was scared of so many different things, but what’s the funniest thing-none of them is my problem now. I was scared of my language level, feeling homesick all the time, problems with Polish school and work and many, many more. Actually, any of these “problems” were problems for me. Speaking in French is really easy, sometimes I can’t find an exact word, but I always can describe it. Feeling homesick is actually my problem, but in completely different way than I was thinking before. And Polish school or amount of work? It’s hard, but I manage to do everything in time and I don’t feel very exhausted.
Today I don’t want to tell you about different problems I have, because I will do it for sure some other day. Today I want to tell you about missing home.
Here, in France, I’ve understood for the first time in my life, that time can fly fast and slow at the same time. I know it sounds ridiculous, but it’s true and I’m not the only person from my friends on exchange who noticed it. How it works? I will explain you. Time flies fast on exchange, because everyday is something new, something excited and you actually live from Monday to Friday. Sounds great, right? But what’s the worst part of it is that when you look back you think that for example a month passed away. But, in fact, it was only a week or two. It sounds strange and it feels strange, but this is the truth. I feel like I’ve been here for half of a year or even longer. And it feels terrible, because I’m not even in the middle of my stay here. And it doesn’t feel good at all.
I experienced so many things, I met so many people and I really could be back home right now. Right now.
And it’s not about feeling bad here. Or feeling lonely. Or so. I just really miss my family, my mom, my friends, my cats and my lovely city. I miss my routine. My food and rules in my home. I miss so many different things and it feels really strange to think that I’ll come back in 2 months. 2 MONTHS. Sounds so bad and so long.
Thank you for reading my thoughts. Probably it’s my most honest post ever. I just want to say that despite feeling homesick, I don’t regret this exchange. There are many positive sides of it and I’m really grateful I decided to do such a brave thing.
Positive side: now I don’t count days till my departure, but till return home <3
Why I’m sharing this with you right now and not at the end of my exchange? Because now I feel that need. To be honest, I’m planning to write a summing-up post also at the end of December when I’ll be finally back in Poland, but I don’t know yet how it will look like :)
Thank you once again.