What I eat in a day #6

Hi guys, I know I was quite absent recently, but coming back to school after my exchange is not so easy and I need to spend definitely more time on studying and working harder. I also changed my workout routine and I push myself harder, because I was really missing it during my exchange :)

Anyway, today is finally the time (after more than 4 months) for a “What I eat in a day” that I think is my favorite type of posts I write here :) I really love watching this kind videos on YouTube and sharing the food I eat is also really funny for me.

BREAKFAST (9.30)

For breakfast I had my favorite oatmeal combo-banana&PB <3 It was a big bowl (something like 7 tbsp oats, 2 big tbsp PB and 2 bananas) so as you can see I love big breakfasts <3

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LUNCH (14.45)

I prepared baked potatoes (5 in total, big and small) and salad with “honey”-mustard dressing <3 I also added some ketchup (lots of ketchup) ’cause ketchup is life, right?

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DINNER (18.45)

I ate 4 big mandarines, 1/4 pomelo, 10 fresh dates and one big square of dark chocolate <3

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And that was all I ate today, I also drank 3l water through the day :) If it goes about workout, I did cardio (stationary bike) for 30 minutes, then Tiffany Rothe’s waist workout (10 minutes) and some butt exercises :)

xx

Why being skinny shouldn’t be your goal?

Today I’d like to write about something really important, yet not well understood by every girl who struggle with eating disorder. I write this post, because it breaks my heart when I see girls who start some new diet, they lose weight, look worse, but there is no one who can help them.

At the beginning of almost every eating disorder there is this feeling of being not good enough. Not skinny enough. Not funny enough. Just not enough. So you start to starve yourself, or you restrict yourself, you work out like crazy every single day or you purge. And there is no one to tell that it’s not the solution. That you can’t do this forever.

But the purpose of this post is not telling you how the beginning of an eating disorder looks like, today I want to tell you something really important.

BEING SKINNY SHOULD NEVER BE YOUR GOAL.

Because being skinny doesn’t guarantee a happy life. A positive life. Life full of success, laugh, admiration and friends.

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In out times the perfect body type is size zero, but how we all know the body type changes with time. There were many years when Marlyn Monroe’s body was a goal, today we rather admire Cara Delevingne’s silhouette. Body goals change and that’s why we shouldn’t care how we look or how many kgs we weigh as long as we’re not or we don’t feel unhealthy.

I hope that today you will stay in front of the mirror and tell yourself that you’re worthy, beautiful, strong and brave human being. Your body is amazing, because thanks to it you can move, run, laugh and do everything what makes you happy. The food is not your enemy, you need it to have energy to live. And being skinny is no longer your goal, because you choose health over self-hate

xx

P.S. If you have any problem or you need help-DM on my Instagram is always opened for you <3

A big change in my life

The idea for this post came to me in one small second, but I think it’s such an important remark to show you, because it absolutely changed my whole life. This big change is connected with body positivity and my thinking about my body, weight etc.

Before this exchange in France I need to say that I accepted my gain weight, but I was still spending some time on scrolling through Instagram accounts of thin vegan girls or watching videos on YouTube like “how to not gain weight on HCLF diet” or “how to lose weight on HCLF diet”. And what’s an important thing too-I was strict in following high carb LOW FAT vegan diet. I stopped eating peanut butter (because I thought it’s too fatty) and I was still thinking how much fats I ate that or that day.

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My departure changed everything because I couldn’t anymore be focused on my diet so much, I had many different worries, problems and things to think about, so I got much more laid-back about my diet and for example I came back to eat peanut butter, because I knew that it can be a very good source of fats especially here on exchange when I don’t have time and also possibility to search for different sources of fats during grocery shopping.

But what I want to tell you in this post is that I’m finally free and I can say it with 100% certainty! <3 I don’t care anymore about my weight, size of my thighs or my belly. I love every single part of my body and I’m happy that I can announce you that. I don’t spend hours anymore on thinking how my body looks, looked and will look. It’s to big to say it aloud, but I feel almost like before my ed :)

Thank you so much for following my journey, today I saw an amazing number on Instagram-2k of you watching my progress and life <3 I love every single one of you and I’m sure it’s not the end, but just the beginning of changes in my life :)

xx

Missing home. My exchange experience

I need to say that I decided to write this post in one small second. I don’t know even how it will look like at the end, but I feel this need and willingness to share with you my current feelings and emotions.

How you probably know, or not, at the end of August I came to France for almost 4 months for a school exchange. I made this decision before choosing a high school, because I knew about this possibility and I always wanted to improve my french level by an experience like this. But in fact, I had completely no idea how an exchange looks like in real life and how many so different boundaries I will meet on my way.

Before this exchange I was scared of so many different things, but what’s the funniest thing-none of them is my problem now. I was scared of my language level, feeling homesick all the time, problems with Polish school and work and many, many more. Actually, any of these “problems” were problems for me. Speaking in French is really easy, sometimes I can’t find an exact word, but I always can describe it. Feeling homesick is actually my problem, but in completely different way than I was thinking before. And Polish school or amount of work? It’s hard, but I manage to do everything in time and I don’t feel very exhausted.

Today I don’t want to tell you about different problems I have, because I will do it for sure some other day. Today I want to tell you about missing home.

 

Here, in France, I’ve understood for the first time in my life, that time can fly fast and slow at the same time. I know it sounds ridiculous, but it’s true and I’m not the only person from my friends on exchange who noticed it. How it works? I will explain you. Time flies fast on exchange, because everyday is something new, something excited and you actually live from Monday to Friday. Sounds great, right? But what’s the worst part of it is that when you look back you think that for example a month passed away. But, in fact, it was only a week or two. It sounds strange and it feels strange, but this is the truth. I feel like I’ve been here for half of a year or even longer. And it feels terrible, because I’m not even in the middle of my stay here. And it doesn’t feel good at all.

I experienced so many things, I met so many people and I really could be back home right now. Right now.

And it’s not about feeling bad here. Or feeling lonely. Or so. I just really miss my family, my mom, my friends, my cats and my lovely city. I miss my routine. My food and rules in my home. I miss so many different things and it feels really strange to think that I’ll come back in 2 months. 2 MONTHS. Sounds so bad and so long.

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Thank you for reading my thoughts. Probably it’s my most honest post ever. I just want to say that despite feeling homesick, I don’t regret this exchange. There are many positive sides of it and I’m really grateful I decided to do such a brave thing.

Positive side: now I don’t count days till my departure, but till return home <3

Why I’m sharing this with you right now and not at the end of my exchange? Because now I feel that need. To be honest, I’m planning to write a summing-up post also at the end of December when I’ll be finally back in Poland, but I don’t know yet how it will look like :)

Thank you once again.

xx

GO WITH THE FLOW

How you probably know, 10 days ago I left my home in Poland and arrived to France to spend 4 months with host family and learn in a french high school. At the beginning everything was new and amazing for me. Every day brought new people and situations I had to face. But the situation has changed when few days ago I noticed that I don’t spend so much time with my host family as some of my friends (but what’s funnier, not all of them) and I started comparing my host family to other which is probably the worst thing you can ever do, but it was stronger than me. I also started overthinking how I always do when I’m not sure about some situation.

And I felt strange, alone and isolated for last few days, but then, today I woke up and something in my attitude has changed. I understood that the difference between french and polish culture is quite big and I can’t change the way my host family function in daily life and how much time we spend on talking together. So I relaxed a little bit, I started to smile and feel how I felt in the first days of my exchange.

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I also understood again that there is no need at all to worry about things less important all the time. And especially in situations like mine when in general I can’t change many things. People are so different, cultures differ and sometimes the behavior which for you is strange, can be something completely normal for someone who was just growing up in a different country.

I also want to encourage you in this post to care less and just enjoy the moment. I know it sounds cheesy, but it’s so important to APPRECIATE EVERY MOMENT, BECAUSE TIME FLIES SO FAST. One day you worry about something and it occupies your whole mind and then one week later you have more problems or happy moment comes and you completely forget about what was going on then.

Don’t let stupid things ruin your life and start loving life for what it is. For people you meet, places you visit and things you learn. And please, stop waiting, stop waiting for happiness, someone to come back, something to come to you. Learn to feel great with yourself and what you have right now :)

xx

Relax over money

If you follow me on IG you probably know from my last photo that today I decided to quit my holiday job. I planed to work for all this week, but today was so hard and I made this decision with relief.

To be honest, this extra money I could earn this week would be helpful for sure, but I realized that I didn’t relax at all during this holiday and I just need some time to get bored. It sounds funny, but this is the truth. How you also know, I’m going to leave Poland in 3 weeks for 4 months and I just understood that I want to spend some time at home, doing what I want, meeting with my friends, watching movies all days and reading books. I want to be lazy during these next 3 weeks because I know that from September to next June I will work my ass off studying and preparing for matura exam and driving test (I know it sounds ridiculous, but I will turn 18 in January!).

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I’m writing this post to show you how important is to listen to your heart and just do what you want during holiday. You have only these 2 months (8 weeks) to be lazy ALL DAY LONG and spend time on doing stupid things. Because you are young, you work hard for 10 months (I hope so, because everyone is different) and you need time to rest.

This is a short post, but I treat this blog like a place for you guys and also for me. I want to come back here some day and see that every decision you do for your own good is important :)

P.S. I opened a new mail box-special mail for YOU!! You can send me your questions, comments or just simple messages :)

barrbraa@wp.pl

xx

My thoughts on love

So this post is the answer for Nina who asked me few questions about love and relationships and that was more than one month ago, but I need to admit that I simply forgot about this comment. I hope that you still read my blog, Nina, and it will be interesting topic  for all of you :)

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MY THOUGHTS ABOUT LOVE

First of all, I want to say that I think love is something we can’t live without, but I mean by this all kinds of love. Love for your parents, friends, partners but also love for things you do, your hobbies and passions. We are made of pure love and if we feel unloved, then we can’t live to the fullest.

 

LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT

To be honest, I don’t believe in it. I can agree that sometimes magic happens and you know at the beginning of relationship with someone that it will be something strong and deep. But it’s impossible to fall in love at first sight. Love is something much deeper and it’s connected with attachment to that person, acceptance of all of his/her disadvantages and being able to do everything for him/her. At the beginning you experience enchantment, but love comes later.

I can’t imagine meeting someone and few months later married him or have children with that person. LOVE NEEDS TIME. From my point of view, it doesn’t appear in one moment and it also doesn’t disappear suddenly.

 

DO I HAVE A BOYFRIEND AND DO I FEEL LIKE I NEED ONE

Now, get ready for serious confidence-I’ve never had a boyfriend (or girlfriend) and I don’t feel like I NEED one. I don’t feel unloved. I’ve got my family and my friends. And I’am only 17! There is no rule which says that you must have a boyfriend in some age.

Love is power and it comes when it wants to. So I don’t feel like I should have a partner. I don’t want to force myself to be in relationship, only because society tells me that I should. And I’m also not interested in relationships which last one month or even few weeks.

 

IMPORTANT MESSAGE

I think we should learn how to live alone. Being single is not the end of the world, it also has its pros. Never feel bad about being single, you have to like your own company and you can do it only by loving yourself truly. You, Nina, wrote that you can’t feel happy unless you are in relationship and if that’s really true, I think something is wrong. Maybe you don’t accept and love yourself, or you feel unloved by your family and friends. Otherwise, I think you should not have that problem.

Summing up, being in relationship is NOT the key to happiness. You choose to be happy and if you feel bad or lonely when single, that means you are unloved mostly by yourself.

 

xx